i am so grateful to have extraordinary people in my life. here’s a handful who have help make 2011 a wonderful year.

karla, matthew, jay, dad, mom, riley, galen, tyler, lindsay, alex, dylan, tony, matt, alice, jack, john s, derek, britt, jennifer, khue, thach, marc, lynn, callie, jj, jason, jermey, shannon, tim, charlie, kathleen, dan, jeff, gregg, colleen, liza, kristina, cyndi, dan, sullivan, diane, josh, estrella, geeta, doc hawk, jordan, julie, matt, karen, ginny, glen, glenn, holly, janet, michele, katherine, rob, rob, kevin, lane, larry, ron, mark s, mark l, rebecca, richard, sunny, and tim.

This morning I decided to go on a rampage of gratitude. Here are just a few things from the last 30 days that I am grateful for…

the little place I rented in Laguna
sunsets
my new laptop
my new iPad
doing tons of meditation from the beach to Trump Tower
the trip to NY and hanging with super conscious people working of expanding awareness
a lovely drive from Seattle to SoCal
walking on the beach
getting a pedicure
dinner with mom and riley
my dad calling out of the blue to tell me he loves me
starting on isagenix
seeing T sing in the choir
completing November completing all my promises
my new car
naps
increasing me Calibrated Level of Consciousness
my daily GID peeps
massages
riding in towncars
meeting Eli and hanging out for the day
lunch with LL
spending my birthday with my best friend
KC, KH, JH and an easy resolution to 415
my meditation
my accountability partners
our book being published
the Mustang
wifi
getting the cable hooked up
washing machines
consulting gigs
going raw for 9 days
my tribe

Not sure what is means.

I just like it.

Do you ever feel the need to lighten the load, to purge, and to reduce the shear tonnage of your life?

Suddenly, I find myself right in the middle of exactly that. Hard to explain.

But I am going with it.

Not sure what is means.

I just like it.

Have you ever taken 8 hours off from talking?

While you were awake?

Give it a try.

Please.

One of the most delightful things about being human is our ability to imagine, vision and dream. Highly effective people are masterful at determining outcomes, making plans and setting in motion events that produce the desired result. And this is a wonderful skill, until it becomes a predator to ones happiness.

Case in point. About a week ago, I find myself crying. I’ve just learned that the future I invited in my head wasn’t going to happen. Logistically, it was simply improbable. And I was not taking the news well.

After contemplation, I realized that I had made the whole thing up. I had imagined the outcome I wanted – in wonderful detail – and I was the one who choose to be upset, sad and disappointed that it wasn’t going to occur. On further investigation, it is easy to see how absurd it all was.

I quickly came to terms with:
1. I made it up. I could make up another outcome that interests me.
2. To be sad about a fabrication of the imagination is, well, hilarious.
3. I forgot that I have no idea what the future holds, nor will I ever.  I am not psychic.
4. Being sad isn’t me. It’s a construct of my ego that assesses, judges and decides what I should be happy or sad about (when I let it run the show, that is).

So, here are my questions for you:
What are you bummed, pissed, sad, concerned, upset or just pain dissatisfied about in life? Who made it up? Who is choosing to experience those emotions? And ultimately, can you make up a different future that lights you up, instead of drags you down?

After I was done grieving my made up future, a weight was lifted, and I laughed harder than I had in a while. What a relief to remember that one of our greatest attributes – our imagination – can be formed, crafted and bent at will into ideas that bring us profound joy. What a gift.

 

Thank you DK.

Do you laugh? Hard.

Do you do it enough? Just because.

Do you make time to be goofy? Really goofy.

Remember twelve-year-old-giggling-at-something-stupid silly? Try it.

Good for the soul.

I notice that we tend to defend our position like it has value. As if not showing up (even with good reason), not putting in the extra effort or having a “oh, that’s just how it is” mindset has ever produced amazing results.

Why do we fight so hard to defend the mediocre?

What would life be like if we showed up no matter what, we went the extra mile, and we decided that “this is how it could be” were our default settings.

I think we’d experience a totally different life, even if the people around us didn’t change one bit.

Ponder that.

Matthew Ferry taught me “my mind is not my friend.” True that.

I was taking a nap the other day, and realized as I was dreaming, that my mind was like the screen in a movie theater. On the screen were images – some unknown to me, some memories from long ago – that suddenly appeared without reason, cause or purpose. It’s as if whatever that talking is in my head (The Drunk Monkey as Matthew calls it) will put anything on the screen of my mind that it wants. Seemingly to entertain itself.

Upon waking up I said “Well that was weird. Who exactly is doing the thinking around here?” Turns out a lot of the time it ain’t me. It’s the biology in my head (aka The Drunk Monkey) doing its thing. How do I know?

I’ve asked it to stop rethinking things over and over and over. I’ve asked it to stop beating me up. I’ve asked it to stop deciding that I screwed up, or said something dumb, or should have blah, blah, blah.

It ignores me. It continues entertaining itself with ridiculous opinions, beliefs and judgments.

So I ignore it for the most part. (This takes focus, discipline and consistency… but let me tell you, it is worth it! Eventually the darn thing gives up.)

And on occasion when it does get my attention, I just giggle. How silly it is that the talking in my head likes it when I suffer?  I find it hilarious, and then move my attention to thoughts that make me feel good, strong, loved, connected, involved, compassionate, excited and happy.

Ha!

Reality is an illusion. How do I know?

Imagine you are in a conversation with a colleague. See yourself standing in front of them, imagine seeing the words come out of their mouth, and you are responding. It’s friendly, enjoyable, and then you get a phone call and gesture “I gotta take this,” smile and head off to your next appointment.

Q. What was the reality of what just occurred?
A. Whatever we decide.

Think about that. The REALITY of what just occurred is whatever you decide.

Interesting idea. Let’s look at the dynamics at play.

1. Two people interacting with one another cannot have the same experience, the same reality. It is literally impossible. They are two different sets of biology thinking, seeing, feeling, reacting in totally different ways. If you and I were talking, we would both be looking at each others face, noticing the art on the wall behind one another, wondering if that email got returned. You’ve experienced this, right?

2. Using our example, each person in this interaction probably had knee jerk reactions to what occurred to complete the conversation. Here’s where things get fun – because up until now we have been taught these reactions were “normal” or “this is what every person would feel” or “that is what happened.” In fact, we spend endless hours thinking, talking, and reacting to “what happened” without ever considering that we literally made it up as our very own reality.

What do I mean?

Here are a couple of the thousands of responses that you could have had when you received the call that interrupted the conversation;
1. “Thank God, I’ve been waiting for this call.”
2. “Whew, been hoping to end this conversation, this is perfect.”
3. “Crap, this is awful timing, I feel like a jerk.”
4. “They know I am busy and have to run.”
5. “Is this the call I’ve been waiting for?”

And the list goes on and on….

Here are some response your colleague may have had;
1. “Well, that was rude.”
2. “I am sure that’s an important call.”
3. “I gotta get going too.”
4. “They are a slave to that thing.”
5. “They are always so responsive.”

Can you see that in a nanosecond we assess, judge, decide, determine, confirm and choose a reality? It happens so fast we don’t even realize we’ve made a choice. Can you see that in the moment, we CAN literally choose the reality we experience?

Here’s the punchline: There is nothing happening “out there.” Our entire reality of life exists “in here.”

If you sit with this idea for a moment, the power of this phenomenon will begin to sink in. Really getting that we are the creator of our reality is empowering, and scary. Taking 100% responsibility for our experience of life, our own personal reality, is an awesome undertaking.

It takes practice. Crafting the reality that you desire requires that we are conscious. It requires us to be curious, to get into a state of “witness,” and to be present to whatever it is in our head that elects itself as the one to assess, judge, decide, determine, confirm and choose a reality.

When I was sick, I began to learn to use my mind to select the thoughts, the reactions, the reality that I wanted to experience. It was a life changing time for me. I learned that I could change my thinking, and my body would change how it felt. I could literally alter my reality in the moment.

This is the kind of power I am talking about. The ability to change your reality at will. To become a Jedi master of your mind… to master assessing, judging, deciding, determining, confirming and choosing a reality that is in alignment with your highest self, and experience insane levels of happiness, joy and freedom as a result.

Your reality is up to you.

If you are ready to start becoming a master at crafting your reality, spend the rest of the day just noticing yourself. Notice the comments you make in your head. Notice how you react with others, how are you when you walk into a store, how you are when you are driving home. Get into your witness and begin to see that for the most part, we live on auto pilot. Thinking, assessing, judging, deciding, determining, and confirming whatever thoughts HOLD US in our current reality is automatic. Just notice. Just begin to see how programmed you are. Once you see it, then you can begin to transcend it, and create a reality that you really like living in.

It’s very cool.

I have two men in my life who intrigue me endlessly. One is 67, the other 40. Both are super smart, loving, talented, charming and well, all round good guys. You’d want to know them, too.

What makes them alike, despite the 27 years that separate them, is they seem to think they have to “figure life out.” By themselves. Alone.

It baffles me.

What is it about us that assumes we have to go it alone?
Why do we think we have to “think” through life?

Have you noticed that our opinions (what we think) tend to make us suffer?
Have you noticed that our mind has beliefs that come from our environment or our family, that really aren’t “us”? (consider that if you were born somewhere else you would have a totally different set of beliefs, expectations and opinions about how life it supposed to be.)
Have you noticed that our personality was adopted, typically as a way to survive what we thought was a dangerous set of conditions?

My wish for us all – especially for two of my favorite guys – is that we begin to see, that for the most part, life isn’t dangerous… loving isn’t dangerous, risking isn’t dangerous, and the unknown isn’t dangerous either.

My prayer is that we wake up to the realization that our natural state is joy…. happiness.. love…. curiosity… and play. My prayer is that we find others who can help us do whatever it takes to stay in those states because being any other way denies what it is to be fully alive.

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.